So past couple of days at work have been manic - suddenly all of our cases seem to be encountering problems or missing deadlines. I was about to release a statement yesterday when I was told that one of the lawyers had just received a call to say that we have reason to believe that one of the fathers has hired an assassin to take out the social worker if the statement is released.
So pretty much myself and most of my friends are living on tight budgets right now, but the difference is huge. I hear stories of friends who buy basic brand food to save a bit of money, or take the bus instead of the tube because it's cheaper. And then there's me, whose budget consists of "I've bought five dresses, shall I be a good girl and return one of them?". Mad hatters. I wish I was responsible and organised with my money. I never know how much I have until I hit rock bottom and have to start frantically selling my clothes to get in the clear again before pay day. I'd love to not care about clothes and expensive books and stupid over-priced organic vegetables. I wish I drank water from the tap. Some of you know I've been thinking recently about giving everything up. Every single vain little vice I have. I've thought about it really seriously, I'd sell all my ridiculous clothes and use the money to buy jeans and jumpers and coats and converse and wooley hats and completely cute (the way wallflowers are cute) clothes. I'd get a "proper blaady haircut" and dye my hair back to its natural colour and take out my belly button ring and my tragus and even think about getting my tattoos removed (except my foot, i love that one). I'd basically dress like Bella Swan from Twilight.
Another advantage - I think I'd start attracting "nice" boys. Not dull, arrogant, insecure, walking, talking wetdreams. I'd do "nice" things like read lots of unpretentious books, and paint, and go hiking in the lake district with a "nice" boy. I'd drink beer like a boy and eat roast dinners like a boy and go to the cinema and call people on the phone more often. Maybe I'd go to the beach more. I've always wondered how Bella Swan makes the seasonal transition though. What does she wear in summer? Or to gigs? Anyway, that is all still a movement in motion.
This weekend should be lovely, though I can't decide what I'm doing. Might be going camping on the moors in Devon and having a BBQ. I don't know.
Why is life such a big competition?
Don't do any of those silly things sweetheart - you are who you are (launch into big, camp Gloria Gaynor number), and who you are is unique and special. If you like clothes, you like clothes. It just means you appreciate beauty, not that you're vain or frivolous. No one's ever criticised for admiring great art, are they? Ok, slight leap, but hey - take off that hair shirt. If you've found things that make you happy, stick with them. The fact that I have to buy Stoli instead of normal vodka, good quality clothes instead of Primark, and beautiful books and objects makes me happy, albeit sometimes on an entirely shallow level. Yes, I have to live on positively nothing for roughly three and a half weeks out of every month, but that's all part of the fun. I pretend rationing is still around.
ReplyDeleteThat said, if you do want to feel more wholesome, a) read Alan De Botton's 'The consolations of philosophy', and b) come and join the Shoreditch Sisters WI with me. It doesn't get much more wholesome than that. We can even do some museums if you want!
All my love, and cheer up lovely thing. Make positive choices, but don't lose yourself. You're much too precious for that.
Amelia xxx