I'm not a big fan of the down-trodden, but I do make an effort not to step on them

Is it an indisputable fact that men and women can never truly be friends? I've had so many experiences where I'll genuinely believe I'm friends with someone only to realise that as soon as I'm "off the market" the situation changes. Is it men being predictable and one-dimensional or is it women being naive and greedy, re-positioning the boundaries into unnatural lines and feigning ignorance? At existentionalists would argue - it isn't the world that is absurd, it's mankind's insistence on enforcing rationality upon an entirely erratic existance.

Lower your expectations?

I've been thinking about everything I got up to last year and trying to convince myself that I wouldn't do it again.

I would.

It was fun.

Maybe irresponsible.

Shopping with mein mutti tomorrow, An exhibition and vintage fair in London on tuesday, drinks with an old friend on Thursday and another day in London seeing Uni friends on Friday, with possibly more drinks at Jagz in the evening before a weekend in Exeter seeing my favourite boy, (who I can honestly say truly is a friend - I hope he never proves me wrong).

My interview on friday was a success, I was offered the Legal Assistant's job in Kingston out of 65 other interviewees. But I'm probably going to turn down the job. I wish my dad's opinion didn't have such an effect on me, it's not like I ever listen to anyone else.



I adore this dress. If you has asked me yesterday what my ideal dress would include I would quite honestly have said "a peter pan collar, sequins, a mod style body and three-quater length sleeves" - pornographic. I would love to wear this with over-the-knee socks and my french beret, maybe a little clutch bag, but I nearly cried when I looked on net-a-porter and found that all the smalls had gone! I quite seriously would have paid the £200andsomething for it, if this isn't a good enough reason for an overdraft I have no idea what is and for a dress that you know you will wear until it literally falls apart in shreds, £200andsomething is nothing.

On a similar note, I FINALLY received these two dresses from trashyvintage and I'm thrilled with both, although the floral babydoll could do with rehemming. Worth the two month wait. My mum and I are going to go and buy some dress patterns tomorrow, apparently because whenever I'm at home (see snow days - urgh) I can't sit still and I think it's annoying her a bit and making her anxious. I know that now the snow has gone I'll have barely any time for it but even if making one dress takes me like a month it will be worth it. I can put peter pan collars on as many things as I like! Added to that, as soon as I get my hair done next week I'll be able to start swimming again and so that's even less free time...




I can't stop biting my bottom lip at the moment, I'm literally making it bleed about three times a day (sorry)

It feels abnormal to turn down a job in the current economic climate, particularly one which would enable me to move into my own apartment.

Apartment is a much nicer word than flat.

Must buy more sobranies in Exeter and use my credit note in Cult.

Stag Weekends: Dirty Secrets

Exeter next weekend? Probably should.

Lots to say but no incentive or inclination to say it. Had an interview this morning during which they sprung several tests on me so I'm not entirely sure how went despite the fact that the conversation part of the interview certainly went well enough.

Busy couple of weekends ahead. I can't wait to have my hair done in the next couple of weeks and get rid of all the fake stuff - will mean I'm able to get back to swimming regularly which I'm absolutely desperate for because I'm pretty certain my lung capacity has reduced since I stopped swimming which can actually be quite scary sometimes like when you concentrate on your breathing and it suddenly seems like the most abnormal bodily function ever. mmmm.

I need to go on holiday with someone lovely, somewhere autumnal and cultural. I need to stop being such a headfuck. I need to move out. Not in that order.

Charity gig tomorrow night to raise money for the RSPCA at South Hill Park in Bracknell, 8.00pm - you should all come. Vintage fair tuesday night 6pm, seeing lots of pretty faces next week and will be back and forth from London every few days doing the rounds.

Still contemplating a nose job.

When you order from Ann Summers do they post in a discreet bag or emblazon your goodies all over the packaging? Answers on a postcard.

The girl remains aloof

Some of us were born to be single.

Message from a friend today after the "basket case" discussion

"P.s. Apparently a basket case is "One that is in a completely hopeless or useless condition." Just my type."

One minute I'm a little sweetheart, the next minute you are an absolute creep.

Every conversation, every phonecall, is a battle, and you insist on playing dirty.

Sometimes I don't think we live in the same world.

I don't know what to do about it. It would be very easy to walk away.

We'd both get over it.

Lights of the cars go by in streams - seems like I stand pretty much unseen

All my money has gone.

I have no petrol.

If my car doesn't start tomorrow, my parents will find out I have no petrol.

I will be asked how I have spent nearly £2000 in a month considering I don't pay rent or bills.

I will be forced to say "I bought studded thigh-high boots and a Balmain replica".

I haven't even done my Christmas shopping.

I can't go to London tomorrow night.

I have tried my absolute best not to be - but I have resigned myself to the fact I am definitely going to be single for the rest of my life.

I'm not even sad about it. I think I should be.

I want my hair to grow faster.

I need to go on holiday.

I need to read a really good book I've been alternating between reading absolute trash and the Financial times for the past year. So, yeah, absolute trash.

I read a letter I wrote to you when we were 14 yesterday predicting this exact thing would happen and saying I knew we'd pull through. I really hope we do and I'm terrified.

I hate that the battery in my central locking key is running out.

I hate that instead of puting the key in the lock I still stubbornly stand there for minutes on end trying to get the electronic key to work.

I really wish people would stop interfering.

It's not the money Eddy... It's the horrible realisation I must have enjoyed ping-pong.

What became of the New Romantics?

If ever a look needed bringing back...