I scream in my car. A lot.
Several really good things happened yesterday. I found my will power again, I signed for my new flat in Teddington and I had a few lovely phone calls from some people who I miss enormously.
And I had a few mini-euphoric moments.
I quite seriously don't want anyone. Ever. Recently I've actually tried to be as amiable and pro-relationship as possible and it seriously just isn't me. It doesn't come naturally. So I'm going to stop. Someone told me I expect too much of men and am never going to find what I'm looking for. I think the point of that was to suggest I "lower my expectations", but in fact I'm just dropping out of the game. I just can't imagine ever wanting to share that much of myself with anyone, at best I think I'd just want someone to chaperone me around and stand there looking pretty, not contribute to the conversation and most certainly not expect anything in return.
So in three weeks time I'll be living in Teddington, near Hampton Court, and with my local on the River Thames.
You know what's odd? I've been in London all day having a lovely time and yet I'm in a foul mood all because I wrote a post-it note for myself saying "Look at ferries for isle of wight fest" and my dad crossed it out and wrote "you're coming on the boat with us". And I literally had an epic tantrum of five year old proportions. Because no I am NOT coming on the boat with them and there is a reason why I need to take the ferry. And I'm in an utterly foul mood because I'm fed up with people telling me and what I am and am not doing when there are quite clearly reasons as to why I do or don't do what I choose to do.
Anyway,
I'm off to bed some unsuspecting men and then never call.
